(Narrative Essay)
The world seemed to collapse when I lost
the most important person in my life. I lost my beloved mother, but it felt
like I lost everything. I was a sickly girl who couldn't do anything on her
own. I lived like a robot and got left behind others my age. Fortunately, I was
gifted with a mother who patiently took care of me during my sick days, always
by my side when I had to see the doctors or got hospitalized. I burdened her so
much but she always gave me unconditional love. 31th May 2017 was the turning
point of my life. My mother passed away due to a brain tumor, and it changed
everything, including myself. Even
though still with an unhealed wound in my heart, I changed into a stronger,
more independent and mature person.
I had poor health since I was on my second
semester of my 3rd grade elementary school. My social circle was limited to my
parents and the doctors. This made me become an anti-social person and very
dependent on my parents, especially my mother.
On the second night of Ramadan 2017, my mother vomited so much and had
to be taken to the Emergency Room. I thought her ulcer struck again. Strangely,
she seemed delirious as she kept asking about me and her stuff even after I
answered her questions several times. Unfortunately, my stomach felt so
painful, so I asked my father’s permission to go home and I asked my big sister
to take care of my mother until I felt better. Only a few days later, although
my father said I didn't have to come, I decided to see my mother in the
hospital because I felt uneasy. I was thunderstruck when I witnessed my
mother's condition got worse and had to be taken to the ICU.
I couldn't blame myself enough for not
being by my mother's side all that time. I almost didn't leave my mother's side
in the ICU. I prayed for her recovery and read the Al-Qur'an all day, only
stopped at midnight when I was exhausted and went to sleep. I talked to her and
begged her to wake up with tears wetting my cheeks. Sadly, there were not any
moves from her, except the up and down rigid movement from her chest because
her breathing was helped by a machine. I
realized how wonderful and greatly loved my mother was when I saw our relatives
came visiting her. One group came after another, and the queue was almost never
empty. Unfortunately, my health dropped again even to the point I lost my
voice. I secretly wished I could exchange my voice with my mother. Sadly, it
was impossible. A few days later, my dad told me and my big sister the tools
that helped my mother breath and alive will be taken off. Of course, we
protested. I heard there were many people woke up from a coma and lived again
normal. I believed my mother could get that miracle too. My hope was shattered
when I heard from the doctor there was a tumor in my mother's brain and there
was no hope for her to wake up again. After the tools were taken off from her,
there was a long beep sound from the heart monitor that bleed my heart. Inna
lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. My mother was really gone from this world, back
to Allah.
On my mother's funeral day, I did not shed
any tears. I even embraced big my sister and strengthened her to let go of our
mother. I was an extremely shy person, it was hard for me to interact with
strangers. That day, I greeted the guests with a smile and answered every
question about my mother's death patiently. I did all that not because I didn't
feel sad. In fact, my heart hurt so badly. I remembered every kind word from my
mother and tried to think that now my mother was in a better place. She was no
longer charged with worldly affairs. Only with that thought I could be strong
enough to accept my mother's departure.
People say you don’t know what you've got
until it's gone. Truth is, I knew what I had, but I just never thought I’d lose
it. Treasure everyone you love and tell them how you actually feel. You
probably won't have another chance to tell them. My mother was the most loving,
caring, selfless, and amazing person I knew and losing her was the saddest
thing that ever happened to me, but because of her and for her, I became a
better person. I learned how to deal with the world on my own. My life is completely different now and I
keep working on improving myself.
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